Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I had an afterthought that Santa must be female so I googled it and this is what I found.  I converted to a powerpoint so feel free to copy...
Xmas from dahoku

Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done.  I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.

 As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12  years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to  protect him from the cold night's chill.  Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.
Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family.  He had three brothers and two sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time  jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to save two hundred  dollars to buy her children Christmas presents.  The young boy had been dropped off on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his  siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.    
"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked. The boy said, "I did."   "And nobody came to help you?" I wondered.
 The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head."How loud did you scream?" I inquired. The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered,  "Help me!"
 I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help.  So, I grabbed his other hundred dollar bill and ran like hell to my car.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Just some random thoughts after I was listening to the radio. I apologize in advance if it is offensive in anyway...

This is what transpired while an effeminate caller called the psychic..

Caller:  Hi , My sister is having a baby and I want to know what Gender the baby will be.
Radio DJ's : Why? Because you want to  know if you are going to be an Aunty or an Uncle?
Psychic:  I'm not going to answer because the parents may not want to know.. put your sister on the phone...
Caller's sister: Hello
DJ's: How long has your brother known he was funny kine?
Caller's sister:  Since her was three... he was born that way...
DJ's : How come took him three years then?
After she hangs up another mahu caller calls in
Mahu caller:  I told you ding-a lings that you are either born that way or you are 'sucked" into it bwahahaha

Me:  Half crying laughing already
That reminds me of some mahu jokes...
What do gay cow's drink.?.  In a gay voice haaaaayyyy ( I guess you have to hear it )
What did the filipino bakla say when he saw two handsome guys?  I like Boto dem
How does a kumu hula answer the phone? Halau
How many letters in the mahu alphabet ?  1  Aiy

Just remember that even though the grass lo0ks greener on the other side... you still have to cover your ass...

Monday, November 12, 2012

I wanted a place to post some random thoughts and other nonsense. 
Sometimes things just pop into my head and I wanted somewhere where I can document my random thoughts, so in the event I create some Heinous crime, you can see that I may be clinically insane...

If you read my blog and steal one of my ideas you must pay me a royalty because as you can see I am documenting my insane creative thoughts..

It may even turn to my online diary...

and away we go

Follow along because there is no logical reasoning behind my thinking...

My million dollar entrepreneurial invention is ... drum roll please
Laulauaulau in a can
Just imagine, for all you homesick locals out there...  we take laulau, stuff it in a can and on the bottom of the can we put vent holes and water so you can actually steam the lau lau in the can itself... pure genius.


= Pure Genius

Speaking of Food...

When you eat chicken eggs, are you eating the chickens menstruation?
That reminds me of a joke...  How is Balut and B-lot alike?  They both taste better when the chick is young. bwhaahaha ok...  I crack myself up.
Since we are on the topic of eggs... Know where the concept of Easter Eggs came from?
 Yeah, their kids will need a 504 plan...
Ok enough for now. I have a headache...  I know I know... that's what she said... yeah that's what she always says...